Dear Diary:

� � I met a girl last spring, and I'm totally crazy about her. She has sexy red hair, and a beautiful smile. She makes these idiosyncratic cute little noises that drive me wild. Her lips are soft and smooth like pillows and ice cream, I never want to stop kissing her. We talk about living together one day, and getting a dog. She wants a bulldog. When I wake up next to her, I know that we will spend the rest of our lives together because I love her, and she loves me back.